so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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