tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize