handjob tips. give me some.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
