I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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