dude i'm inner monologue high
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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