oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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