No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
