East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
