went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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