the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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