your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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