the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
