I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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