how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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