well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
