That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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