is your mom at the bar?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize