he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
