I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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