My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize