Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
