last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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