i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
