the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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