In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
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The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
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I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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