I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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