my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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