U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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