dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
