you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize