Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I am one with the molecules
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
