Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
