whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
