her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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