Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
