My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
