I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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