if i died would you start the facebook group?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.