i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
