I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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