Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
