Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
