i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
