he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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