I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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