i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
