i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
