I'm really into asian looking animals
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
