Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
