help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
