They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
