He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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