Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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