Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
