just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
