Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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