She announced her abortion via fbk
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
