How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
