he shaved USA in his pubs
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
