he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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