I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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