He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
