I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize