sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
