I just made out with a guy for $7.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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