playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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