Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
