in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
