a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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