i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
